The year 2015 unceremoniously opened with a bloodbath episode when gunmen went on a killing spree -- murdering a total of 17 people in what is known as the City of Love, Paris -- in broad daylight.

The massacre took place at the French satirical weekly office, Charlie Hebdo located in the Eastern Paris.

Though the motive for the atrocity is still vague, the people of the world have already gotten out their score sheets to quickly judge the uncertainties – drawing out clues and theories of their own on the what, when, where, why and how.

In this day and age, where Islamist terrorism is at large globally, I was actually quite surprised that this publication is still in operation running its business as usual; especially after France has been placed at the forefront of pro-Palestinian activitism in the recent weeks.

And after all that, I was expecting Charlie Hebdo to tone down a notch, at least. There are extremists somewhere bound to take offense. And if most theories are proven true, then they already did.

Truth be told, I was not entirely shocked but extremely mind-boggled that there are people out there who are trigger happy, collecting bravery in their hearts and soul, driving insanity and stupidity to a whole new level by taking the lives of others and putting their very own lives at stake too, in retaliation of a silly comic strip.

Then again, I thought to myself, what if it is not just about the comic?

Because personally, I feel that it is the lamest reason ever for a shoot out. Eg: can’t take a joke? Then, let’s terrorise people!

Even if it is just about the comic, it is still lame. And as far as I know, no religion and faith in this world has ever allowed the killing of other human being.

And so like my many other buddies of varying professions who live all over the world, I posted up a picture of my pencil with #jesuischarlie on my Facebook and Instagram pages as a sign of support for the victims of the tragedy made up of journalists, cartoonists, editors and security personnel.

When I put it up on Thursday, I was all out pledging for the freedom of speech, the liberty to channel and voice out creativity, views and thoughts.

And after many thoughts, I decided to put it down on Friday.

I pulled my post out because "I am not Charlie".

I, do not conform to the nature of Charlie Hebdo - famous for its caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad and its critical depictions of Catholics, Jews and French politicians – consistently stirring controversy.

I do not want to be associated with a company that ridicule my very own religion.

I do not condone anybody who insult other people’s religion, faith and race or anything for that matter, even if it is funny or just for fun.

I am a writer. A journalist. A TV producer. I too bring back my wages; put forth food and necessities for my family by selling my creativity. Just like the people in Charlie Hebdo.

Currently, people at my workplace including me, are self-editing our pieces. Making sure that it is politically-correct, making sure that it does not touch the slightest ground of sensitivity to any Malaysians.

We can't write the whole truth no matter how badly we want to. And on that note, there is somewhat NO freedom of speech here. At least, not in our country.

And even with all those multiple layers of censorship and editing, we are closely monitored, highly-scrutinised and most of the times criticised by the mass. We never know when we will offend anyone.

My point here is, the chance of being victimised by this so-called angst that was unleashed by the spin of numerous wild bullets, murdering people at random, does really exist in my world.

My paranoia is relevant, no?

If it could happen in the City of Love, in the land of the free, believe me, it is bound to happen anywhere.

Remember the guy who was implicated in the “I want to touch a dog” campaign, last year? He had to pay a heavy price for his action, he received death threats for trying to address the non-issue relating to Muslims and dogs in this country.

Imagine that. Death threats because of dogs? Lame.

Imagine Charlie Hebdo’s position in the eyes of millions people of different faiths, especially the Muslim. I am assuming death threats are really on a regular basis there.

My take is that, it is inhumane for people to say that the people who died at Charlie Hebdo deserved their unfortunate fate and untimely death.

It is atrocious for gunmen and terrorists to go around town taking other people’s life, like they are worth nothing.

And even senseless, sadistic and merciless are those who cheer and glorify these terrorists like it is the right thing to do.

And for those Muslims who feel like this massacre is only apt, in the name of the religion, then, I feel that they should change from being a Muslim to most lame.

So, no, I am not Charlie, I won’t stand up for Charlie, but I will fight for humanity ...



"But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate.."

Where is the love? Black Eyed Peas - Source YouTube