THERE is this anecdote making the rounds that Malaysians carrying the titular honorific Datuk or Datuk Seri to their name are a dime a dozen.

Word is; toss a shower of bricks up in the air and the detritus would more than likely land on the head of someone carrying one honorific or another.

So, do you wonder then why someone of the stature of our esteemed Youth and Sports Minister Khairy Jamaluddin still answers to the title of plain Encik which in English is plain Mister (Mr)?

Rather a touch too deeply grounded in Egalitaria (sic) don’t you think? After all, is there another current Cabinet member (apart from his boss) who was born into a silvern existence.

Khairy was born and raised into the peripatetic life of a diplomat’s family.

He must consider himself lucky to have had the benefit of an international upbringing and was not exposed to some of the deleterious deprivations of a `normal’ education.

The Youth and Sports minister who answers to the dandily hip cue of YB KJ, opened his heart out as to why he is still without the Datuk title to a local tabloid newspaper recently.

TOO YOUNG YET

He has politely turned them down and not succumb to the titular temptation of Datukships that have been offered to him numerous times.

We learnt from the interview that here is one minister who is ever so modest of his achievements.

Wielding diplomatic wisdom by the bucket load (the benefit of that International school education); he described a Datukship as too special (terlalu istimewa) for someone who has only served as minister for all of a mere three years.

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He went on to say that he will continue to politely decline each time the offer comes his way so long as he is in politics.

Not that ageism is an issue, KJ does consider himself too young to be nudged into the fraternity of the oligarchical gerontocracy.

Now let us look at why Datukships are like the proverbial mushrooming of the fungi after a shower.

This botanical metaphor is the very kampong malay way of observing the natural botanical cycle of life.

Yummy indeed, as one’s bare larder can be replenished with tasty backyard mushrooms that sprout during the rainy seasons.

The award of such titles are the prerogative of royalty. It is not a surprise therefore that there are Datuks and Datuk Seris aplenty in any country whose rulers are known for regal largesse and bountiful generosity.

It comes as no surprise too that what the right hand giveth, the left hand taketh.

TRIBULATIONS IN TERENGGANU

Up till last Friday, Terengganu Menteri Besar Ahmad Razif Abd Rahman was addressed deferentially as Datuk Seri.

That title was taken away from him and he was from there on addressed as plain Menteri Besar.

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Technically, one can address him as Encik in the same manner as one would with KJ.

Malaysians in general, and anak Ganu (sons of Terengganu) in particular, have been asked not to over-react to this palace – menteri besar rift for the time being.

PM Najib will take time off from making the rounds in Sarawak during the ongoing state elections to seek an audience with the Sultan. What one would give to be a fly on the wall for this tete-a-tete.



For now until the impasse is broken, this Land of the Turtles is led by a Menteri Besar whose does not share the same titular space enjoyed by his exco members; who must all be Datuks or Datuk Seris at the very least.

Getting the honorific address right is important in our stifling administrative straight jacket. Just listen to ministerial speeches that are rather too fussily officious to begin with.

Look at the prepared text of speeches during official functions and you’d see in 14 point Times Roman font the first two pages filled with the titles and names of VIP attendees.

YANG BERKHIDMAT?

Emcee wannabes will be schooled to distinguish between beginning the address with the correct use of the mere Yang Berhomats (Your Excellencies) as opposed to the more elevated Yang Amat Berhormat (Your Even-More Excellent Excellencies?).

Compare that to introduction in speeches by Obama who will simply begin by Yo, Ladies and Gentlemen (pardon my levity, but you get the drift).

It is the substance of the speech that matters shouldn’t it?

Not the length of time the speech goes on to acknowledge the presence of VIP attendees which will take a good 3 minutes or more!

And while we are at it – out of plain ignorance there is the tendency to address the highest office bearers of the land with the prefix Rt Hon (Right Honourable).

My appeal to emcee wannabes out there – please don’t fawn and incorrectly elevate these already heavily feted leaders such a title unless they are Privy Councillors!

At the last time of checking, I can’t seem to find any of our esteemed leaders who have made it past the front gates of the Inns of Courts and taken silk!

Better still, let’s just address all our elected leaders simply as YB – for Yang Berkhidmat (Those Who Serve)!