Panama Capers, David Cameron Scampers

PANAMA used to be attached sartorially to headgear worn by the likes of Johnny Depp and geographically for the canal that cuts in two the umbilical cord that separated what would have been a conjoined Americas.

That would have remained its primary claim to fame until the legal firm of Mossack-Fonseca vaulted it into legal folklore in what is sure to be soon-to-be case law on mending a broken front door!

Some see it as plain security laxity while others suggest criminal liability. Determined code cracking and a wily ability to slip past sloppy sentries has resulted in reams of data hacked to show the offshore accounts of wealth stashed by the Super Rich.

Where once we had the Code Breakers followed by Watergate and then Wikileaks, we now see some blushing world figures thrust in the spotlight of financial scrutiny as revealed by the Panama Papers.

With a name that suggests a convenient union of Jewish craftiness riding on the back of a rolling wagon of Latin laxity, Panama is now a byword for financial chicanery allegedly thriving on the absence of integrity amongst the worlds’ super elites.

NO LAUGHING MATTER

The fallout from the leaks is a salutary lesson in accountability and restitution as displayed by British Prime Minister David Cameron. More drastically; his Icelandic counterpart who goes by the unfortunately appropriate name of Gunnlaughsson – Sigmundur David Gunnlaughsson chose to admit mea culpa and fell on his sword!

Never mind, it is quite fun watching a politician all hot and bothered coming under the glare of public scrutiny. The inquisition becomes an object lesson for budding aspirants seeking power of office. Nothing can be more sobering that the abuse of position subjects one to incarceration, at the very least in a location with a Sungai Buloh postcode.

So when the shenanigans of some big shots – Icelandic Prime Minister and his UK counterpart David Cameron – involving financial deposits in faraway Panama came to light, their decision to bail out (the former) and fess up (for the latter) drew a gasp of envy from other parts of the globe far less enlightened.

Cameron claimed he did no wrong. He immediately came clean once it was leaked that he was a direct beneficiary of the financial derring-do of his late dad. Not that Cameron Senior committed any crime – it was the fact that he parked a bit of cash in the British Virgin Islands.

WESTMINSTER PARLIAMENTARY SCRUTINY

So it was on Monday that Cameron was grilled by his fellow parliamentarians.

Westminster may labour under the weight of stuffy regalia and fuddy-duddy decorum but its august chamber is the very public stage where Cameron stood up and took it like a man. Westminster is nothing if not the very pit of dashing debate and oral jousting of the highest order.

For one – it is openly televised; coverage not just limited to a favoured crony broadcast channel. The cameras are free to roll, no need for sloppy snipping nor haphazard editing.

So what did we learn from the session in parliament?

AVOIDANCE VERSUS EVASION

Firstly, that people from the lands the Brits once lorded over may think they have nothing to learn from the colonial masters when it comes to morality, accountability; piety, duty, decency, honesty and incorruptibility. One cannot be so wrong!

For the first time ever, the incumbent British Prime Minister published his wealth for the sake of transparency. What was there left for the leader of the opposition to do to top that but to follow suit?

This the Labour opposition leader Jeremy Corbin did; albeit just 30-minutes before the day’s order of business began at 4 o’clock. His glacial reaction invited sweet derision from Cameron who drew the house’s attention for a bit of pugilistic point pinching.

It was the best part of an hour therefore on a Monday sitting of parliament that David Cameron came for a grilling – where true to form, he gave as good as he got. The floor was united however in that stashing money to evade tax was criminal. On the other hand, avoidance was merely frowned upon.

By parking the money in some British overseas territory using the services of off-shore tax havens, less of the Cameron family inheritance went to the grubby fingers of government.

Cameron also gave an undertaking to make it harder for anyone to hide money, and promised a clampdown on ill-gotten gains.

There is no suggestion that the Cameron family had done anything wrong. He also went on to propose that the PM, the Leader of the Opposition, the Chancellor and the Shadow Chancellor must be the 4 key figures in parliament – not ALL MPs though – to publish their tax returns.

HOT POTATO IN COOL ICELAND

In Iceland, the same Panama caper led to the change of PM – a fresh-faced Sigudur replacing a tainted Sigmundur!

One moment Sigmundur was PM, the next in came Sigudur – Sigudur Ingi Johannsson whose entry was akin to flushing the Icelandic parliament corridors of the stink of venal corruption.

Leaks from Panama which would have made even a Wikileaker blush showed Sigmundur had had a huge stash of cash banked in out of Iceland.

This was more than just untenable as he was always busy espousing the mantra of nationalist duty in financial management. His Viking ancestors might have banished him to the most inhospitable expanse of neighbouring Greenland were Thor still reigning as King!

In China, that supposed land of chaste communism where communalism for the common good is the theoretical mantra; things ran true to form.

Their leaders apparently have many questions to answer with the leaks showing them secreting away reels of renmimbi away from prying eyes.

However, with their iron-fisted control of the internet and policing of social media, the fallout was muzzled and the billions of Chinese who remain in their peasant state remain none the wiser.

It remains to be seen if more politicians as well as famous individuals will do the decent thing and fall on their swords from the fallout emanating from Panama.

If it does, perhaps then Panamanians will have contributed to making this world a little less mercenary monetarily.