Better mental health for my children than good grades

Growing up I had an amazing childhood. Though my parents put in a lot of focus into my studies and how I must excel with good grades to guarantee a place in good university which leads to having a good job, they have never forgotten the key aspect of a wholesome healthy living which include mannerism, kindness, humility and respect towards other human being and living forms.

I was quite a good student when I was in school and university. For everything I am today with this top notch level of happiness I am in, I owe it all to my parents.

Now, a parent myself, I have to admit, I am guilty for putting too much pressure on my children, especially on education. For example, I fuss over my six year old daughter’s literacy. I am extremely concerned that she is not able to read words with more than five letters. I constantly nag at her when she fail to get the right answer to eleven minus six.

I didn’t realise that I am interfering and intruding into her childhood. I forgot that play is the most important education that a child her age can ever have.

This entire realization came when I met a girl named Lucy (not her real name).

Lucy seems like any other teenager, at first. I met her during one of my assignments on mental health in one of the rehabilitation centre, here.

When I finished my interview, Lucy came up to me and asked me whether I have had lunch. And then she came and asked me the same question again five minutes later and five minutes after that and every five minutes after that, for the next hour.

Discreetly, I asked Lucy’s caregiver her story.

Lucy is sixteen years old. She is currently home schooled and in rehabilitation. Lucy lost her ability to do things people her age can do like carrying a decent conversation on anything.

Lucy succumbed to manic depression due to the constant and consistent pressure her parents imposed onto her, that one day, when she was 12, a week before her UPSR, she attempted suicide.

Lucy’s story was like a tight slap on my cheeks which woke me up from the sheer ignorance I had in my parenting.

Depression is no laughing matter and should never be taken lightly. Depression is a disease that creeps and feeds on one’s mind, toying with emotions and affects the behaviour. It can lead to other mental problems including substance abuse, eating disorders and panic attacks, all of which have risen significantly on college campuses and schools across the nation in the past decade.

As much as we want our children to strive in school or college and see them succeed in their future, we must not treat overwhelming stress as if it is a norm.

Many cases of mental disorders that develop in schools, primary or secondary are diagnosed when the damage has already begun, mainly because parents choose to ignore the issue.

In this case, ignorance is definitely not bliss. And all this I learnt from a girl named Lucy.

Happy World Mental Health Day everybody.