As he recalls the attack that killed his best friend and left him grievously wounded, the young IT operator still can't fathom the depravity they encountered after a night out at a Delhi shopping mall.
"I never imagined that one human being could treat another so badly," said the 28-year-old about the fatal gang rape of his female companion on December 16.
"The rapists injured my friend in the most shocking ways while they beat me with a metal bar and dumped us near a highway."
"They wanted us to die. Now, I want them to die and she also wanted them to die... She wanted them to be set on fire."
The young man, who cannot be named to prevent identification of the victim, visited his friend twice at a Delhi hospital before she was airlifted to Singapore by the Indian government for further treatment.
"She was in enormous pain but wanted to talk to me and her family. She would recall the incident and get very angry... We would quickly change the subject."
"I would ask her about the new clothes she bought with me and make plans about things we would do when she recovered. Those plans died with her."
In an interview with AFP ahead of Tuesday's verdict, which saw four men convicted of murder and gang rape, he said how he is wracked by guilt for being unable to protect his 23-year-old friend as they made their way home from the cinema.
The pair had spent the Sunday evening watching 'Life of Pi' and were trying to flag down an autorickshaw when a bus pulled up.
It was only after boarding that they realised it was no ordinary bus and that their fellow passengers were in fact a group of drunken joyriders who would rob them before conducting a sickening assault.
Nearly unconscious after being savagely beaten, he could do nothing but watch as his friend was repeatedly raped and then violated with an iron rod.
The victim's intestinal injuries were so horrific that they led to her death in a Singapore hospital where she suffered multiple organ failure on December 29.
Severe injuries left him unable to attend his friend's funeral. The accused had broken his leg, stripped him and kicked him out of a moving bus along with the victim.
But determined that her attackers would face justice, he was the first of up to 80 witnesses to reveal before the court what he had experienced and seen on December 16.
The trial may be over but the young man, who moved to Delhi in 2006 from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh, is still struggling both physically and psychologically.
He resumed work in May this year and worships a Hindu god every evening.
Sometimes he goes to the cinema alone but his friend's fate is never far from his mind.
"I could talk to her about anything, tease her and even share my coffee with her. Companionship and friendship meant being with her.
"She was cool, funny, mischievous had a great presence of mind. She could make anyone smile and maybe that is the reason why every Indian was angry and sad when she died," he said.
"Her case made everyone feel guilty... society could not protect her.
"For me, I lost a friend... The guilt will always remain. The only good thing would be if we ensure that such cases do not happen ever again."
He has been critical of the police for failing to be sensitive to his mental condition and deplored the apathy of the passers-by who did little to help at the end of their nearly hour-long ordeal.
"I wake up and the first thought that comes to my mind is always about the attack.
"Sometimes I think about my friend, sometimes about the rapists. It sends shivers down my spine."
AFP
Tue Sep 10 2013
!['Guilt will always remain' says Delhi gang rape companion 'Guilt will always remain' says Delhi gang rape companion](https://resizer-awani.eco.astro.com.my/tr:w-177,h-100,q-100,f-auto/http://img.astroawani.com/2013-09/41378853495_295x200.jpg)
PAC beri tempoh tiga bulan kepada HRD Corp
Jawatankuasa Kira-kira Wang Negara (PAC) memberi tempoh tiga bulan kepada Perbadanan Pembangunan Sumber Manusia (HRD Corp) untuk mengemukakan laporan tindakan susulan terhadap syor jawatankuasa itu.
Kylian Mbappe tandatangan kontrak dengan Real Madrid
Bintang bola sepak Perancis Kylian Mbappe menandatangani kontrak selama lima tahun dengan kelab Sepanyol Real Madrid pada Selasa.
Pelepasan ketujuh air sisa nuklear Fukushima ke laut selesai
Jepun telah menyelesaikan pusingan ketujuh pelepasan air sisa radioaktif yang dirawat dari loji kuasa nuklear Fukushima Daiichi ke Lautan Pasifik pada Selasa.
Empat termasuk kapten maut dalam pertempuran
Empat anggota tentera India termasuk kapten meninggal dunia akibat kecederaan selepas pertempuuran pada malam isnin di Hutan Desa.
Pakistan sahkan 4 warganya terbunuh di Oman
Pakistan berkata pada Selasa empat warganya terbunuh dalam insiden tembakan pada malam Isnin berhampiran ibu negara Oman, Muscat.
Lima terbunuh, puluhan cedera dalam protes antikuota di Bangladesh
Sekurang-kurangnya empat orang terbunuh dan puluhan lagi cedera dalam pertempuran antara pelajar yang memprotes sistem kuota dalam pekerjaan sektor awam dan polis di pelbagai bahagian Bangladesh pada Selasa.
Kerajaan cadang perkenal pembiayaan swasta
Kerajaan menyasarkan untuk memperkenalkan pembiayaan swasta alternatif bagi memastikan kemampanan kewangan program sektor air, sekali gus mengurangkan kebergantungan pada perbelanjaan kerajaan dan mengukuhkan daya tahan.
Saya tak fitnah Guan Eng, cuma jelaskan siasatan SPRM - Muhyiddin
Presiden Bersatu Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin memberitahu Mahkamah Tinggi Kuala Lumpur hari ini bahawa beliau tidak memfitnah Lim Guan Eng berhubung isu pengecualian cukai terhadap Yayasan Albukhary
KPT alu-alukan dapatan, cadangan PAC - Zambry
Ini termasuklah cadangan pelaksanaan Garis Panduan Pelaburan dan Pembiayaan oleh Universiti Awam 2024 kepada anak-anak syarikat di bawah seliaan Kementerian Pendidikan Tinggi (KPT).
Lebih 340,000 syarikat buat transaksi serah simpan maklumat pemunyaan benefisial
Sebanyak 340,637 syarikat telah membuat transaksi serah simpan maklumat pemunyaan benefisial (beneficial ownership) bagi tempoh 1 April hingga 14 Julai lepas.
![Remaja 16 tahun dirogol bergilir-gilir 30 lelaki di bilik hotel Remaja 16 tahun dirogol bergilir-gilir 30 lelaki di bilik hotel](https://resizer-awani.eco.astro.com.my/tr:w-177,h-100,q-100,f-auto/https://img.astroawani.com/2019-08/81565076869_ROGOL.jpg)
Remaja 16 tahun dirogol bergilir-gilir 30 lelaki di bilik hotel
Menurut polis tempatan, mangsa yang pada ketika itu berada dalam keadaan mabuk kemudiannya ke Hotel Red Sea di mana dia ingin menggunakan bilik air.